A Strong Online Presence?

I was very, very late to the Novel Racers' coffee morning this week but delighted to log on this morning and discovered a great post from Lane about the importance of cultivating a strong online presence:

"We are constantly advised that if we want to be a writer who sells, we need to cultivate a strong online presence. Today's market is obviously über competitive and we're told that we must use 'online platforms' such as blogging, Facebook, personal websites and Twitter, to the fullest extent, to make our presence known to the widest possible audience."

I think that it was a great post and I do worry about this...I think that it's important to raise your profile but do agree that for those of us who are unpublished it's more important to get the novel written than spend too much time on other online activities.

I'm not the most consistent of bloggers at the best of times but this year has been a disaster for me personally and professionally which has affected my inclination to blog. Certain topics I may have blogged about became off limits and it would have been difficult to blog about other things that were happening without potentially upsetting relatives/friends.

On top of that I've been battling with my internet provider for being crap (long story) and have had very intermittent access since February. By the time I've checked my emails and done a few other bits either at my relative's place or from an internet cafe I have little inclination to blog or read others' blogs.

My hope is to get back on my feet shortly and get back into the blogosphere more regularly as I've learned an awful lot from fellow bloggers and believe that that's useful and not just from a profile point of view. On the plus side I've been doing a lot of writing these past few months so that makes me feel a tad less guilty about being incommunicado on the blog (and Twitter, Facebook etc.) front!

The New Writers' Scheme

The kind man in the print shop told me that he was sure that it was a winning dissertation. I sheepishly told him that it was a partial novel and walked away with flushed cheeks at having told a stranger that at all and feeling happy that a random young man had a good feeling about it. This was in spite of my rational self telling me that it was a load of old tosh and that he probably said that to all the girls (and boys!).

Seeing my partial in double-spaced one page layout was the strangest thing. I've been working on it for what seems like forever in single-spaced format. When I print it off - which is rare - I tend to shrink it and cram it onto as few pages as possible so as not to drain my titchy printer cartridge.

Somehow seeing the title page and a big fat wad of double-space lines made it seem like a proper novel. It looked professional. Previously I had slogged away thinking of it as 'The Book' but it was all a bit unreal. With a mixture of anxiety and excitement I stuffed it into the postbox and said a prayer.

It Don't Matter If You're Black or White

Had a very odd phone call with the nieces last night.

They had managed to sneak a peak (don't ask) of the Michael Jackson spectacle before bedtime. Consequently they were totally confused by the time I called.

'We watched Michael-Jackson-he's-dead,' Niece Senior informs me. 'He was black when he was a boy and now he's white. Want to speak to x?'

Before I can answer #2 is on the phone with her trademark speed talk. 'We saw Michael-Jackson-he's-dead Auntie CC.'

Ah, the Michael Jackson He's Dead show. At that moment I didn't envy my sister-in-law who had to explain that one.

'Michael-Jackson-he's-dead is in the box,' she tells me though I suspect that he is not in the 'box' at all but elsewhere. 'He was black when he was little and he's going to come back alive and be white.'

Huh?

It transpires that some of the confusion is in part due to a new puppy in the family. Both girls thought that my aunt's new brown and black terrier puppy called Hughie was the reincarnation of her beloved white Westie dog - Hamish - who who was sadly put down a couple of weeks ago much to the girls' distress.

Between a deceased white dog, a tiny black/brown puppy and the varying shades of Michael Jackson's skin over the years, there will be many questions yet to come as the week goes on.

Procrastination

A gloriously long day. Nothing planned except writing. All day if I so wish.

But what do I do...?

A dark load, clear through piles of admin, file and recycle. Next I prepare a homemade veggie soup, then make a cup of tea, I read a couple of articles, stare out the window at the gloomy sky and study the rain spatters on the window.

Somewhere around 3.45 I finally switch on the laptop. 3.45pm!!!

Then guess what I do? Yes, you got it - faff around with emails, web browsing, Facebook.

It's now 4.50pm. By the time I get cracking and get on a roll it'll be bedtime but then I'll be in the groove and end up having a late night.

I swear I was more productive when I commuted to central London, worked long hours and partied hard than I am now that I have 'all the time in the world' to write.

Honky vs London?

So Honky as I like to call it was absolutely fantastic. Hong Kong has something to offer everyone and a few snatched days over there on the way to Australia last year left me wanting to return.

We enjoyed the madness and high rises, observed the weird and wonderful food items (skinned snake anyone?) on sale and took the ferry as often as we could. After a few days of mayhem we visited more transquil places such as the sleepy, car-free Lamma Island with it's hiking trail, and sleeping fishing village in the photo.

Other days we went to Stanley, visited a nunnery, did a zillion Buddhist temples and all the other usual stuff on the tourist agenda. Generally we had a really relaxing time.

10 days there was more than enough and I was ready to return to London and attempt to give some structure to my work-free existence. Arriving back home to discover daffodils and blue skies was a joy. The two huge magnolia trees outside my window were just budding and everywhere there were signs of Spring.

Sunny afternoons spent with Sr Madrid, park visits with the nieces, lunch with Friend With a Baby, coffees at outside pavement cafes. Ah, this is the life I thought.

And then the rain came.

And reality.

It had to I suppose. I've got to get a job! My mother has taken to presenting me with job applications and I sense that she's on the verge of submitting them for me. The holiday, it appears, is over. I spent hours on Monday completing my first proper job application since becoming unemployed. I've got a few months' grace until I need to start selling my body but I can't wait until the money's about to run out before commencing the search.

Shame because a girl could get used to this lifestyle...

Long'un

I've been absent from cyberspace for weeks. Alot has happened...

First I left my job.

Three days later my grandfather was taken ill and the whole family maintained a weekend-long vigil at his deathbed. He died on the Sunday afternoon after a year-long illness.

The next day was the snowday. Beautiful but less so when you've got to drive in it to collect belongings from hospital, register a death, go to the funeral parlour etc. all of which was miles away from each other.

The following week passed in a blur but not being at work meant that I was around to support my mother without worrying about taking time out of the office. Unfortunately I was also on tenterhooks because the announcement about my departure had not gone out and I had work that needed to be handed over but couldn't as I wasn't allowed to talk about having left until the formal anouncement was made...blah, blah, blah.

Monday - funeral of my great auntie at a crem down in Surrey on the most filthy wet day of the year. Peculiar at the end of the day when, instead of saying "goodbye" to relatives, you find yourself saying, "see you on Wednesday" with a wry smile.

Wednesday - grandfather's funeral on a beautiful crisp winter's day. The sun was shining and the priest was lovely if not the campest man of the cloth that I've ever come across. The cemetery was like a bog after the rain two days earlier. The same day the announcement about me finally went out to my colleagues which was a huge relief to be able to be open about not coming back and to start handing work over remotely.

I've been without internet connection hence the radio silence but am now in possession of my very first dongle a name which provokes giggles every time I say it for some childish reason. Frustratingly, it had a bloody child lock on it so I could comment on my own blog but not log on to it or most of the other novel racers' blogs until today.

I've spent the past two weeks getting used to not being at work and also trying to relax before getting my head ready to focus on jobhunting. Some good things have happened:

1. I've become a lady wot lunches. This is only possible if you have pals to lunch with and it happens that between career changes, babies and redundancy there's a little gang of 4 to play with. I've also been meeting up with former colleagues for lunch/drinks. All this activity must stop as it costs a fortune and I'm unemployed now!

2. I've met the most lovely man on Gumtree. Hang on, he's not that kind of man. Sadly. We have totally hit it off but he's gay. He's from Spain and is new to London and wants to improve his English, I want to brush up on my Spanish and we have much in common and have been spending hours together.

3. I've been playing auntie alot more and have been picking up Niece Junior from nursery and making pancakes and such things with her before going back to collect her big brother and sister for more entertainment with statements like: "you know, Auntie CC, this is a cream for bums [sudocream which gets applied to Niece Junior's sore bottom as required] that's why it's call bum cream."

4. I'm off to Hong Kong tomorrow night on a fabulous last minute package. Transpires that it's cheaper to do than a Europe deal because business people aren't travelling for meetings as much as before the credit crunch. My mum who's in dire need of a holiday after all the antics of the past months and I are off to HK for some buzzy city life mixed with the gentler pace of the islands. We may go up to China or pop over to Macau. Am very excited!

5. Best of all, I've been writing!

Will report back in a couple of weeks.

Lady of Leisure

It's official. I am now one of the great unwashed, a cider-swiller, a layabout for whom getting up before midday is early.

It hasn't really kicked in yet and I'm absolutely shattered after a week of intense anxiety and waiting not to mention the time leading up to the meetings last week. No doubt the novelty of not needing to go to work will wear off but for the moment I've got an action-packed diary which will I can look forward to rather than dread because I'm too knackered after a day at the office.

I am now free to throw myself wholeheartedly into both my writing and jobhunting. Naturally I'm entertaining thoughts of submitting my work, getting snapped up by a super agent and offered a brilliant book deal which would permit me to give up the search for a 'real' job and fulfil my dreams.

I'm allowing myself to indulge until the weekend and come Monday the daydreaming will have to end and the endless round of interviews, agency meetings etc. shall commence. Still, at least I will be able to devote more time to doing what I like (writing) in between jobhunting.

Another big bonus to this unexpected life of leisure (haha, if only!) is that I'll be able to spend some time with the pregnant Blonde Best Friend who is desperate to be a lady wot lunches but doesn't have anyone except her sister to lunch with and who is also employed.

The sister in question is the lovely Italiana who has recently returned to London after nearly 4 years in Milan so it's a double-whammy - I get to spend time with both of them so there are some silver linings to be had from crap and miserable situations.

I'm going to have to be careful not to get too used to a life without the structure of schlepping into town each weekday. Equally, I think I can allow myself to have a few days' 'holiday' before I embark on my search for a new job.

Now, where did I put the vodka?

Impatience

I am soooo impatient. If I ever manage to get published then who knows how I'll cope with waiting for editors' feedback, sales figures etc. For the moment (sadly) that is not a problem that I have to worry about!

It seems as if my future is in the hands of the Gods right now and I'd too impatient and twitchy to contend with it. I want things to be done and dusted so that I can be put out of my misery but I know from past experience than sometimes being forced to wait due to circumstance has provided me with time to reflect and sometimes prompted a change of direction. Right now though I feel very sure of the direction I want to go in and I want to ignore any suggestion that it might be better to hold my horses or take the soft option.

It's funny how in times of tension I seem to be most creative. I'm wound up and not sleeping very well and yet at the same time I've got loads of ideas floating around in my head fighting for space with the negative work-related thoughts!

Previously I've blogged or commented on how therapeutic and cathartic writing can be. I'm changing my stance on this a little. It can be therapeutic but I think it's important to ensure that it's chanelled properly. I've read back parts of my wip that I wrote some time back and sometimes it's really cringe-inducingly obvious as to what was going on in my life at that time which is to the story's detriment.

Note to self: use writing as therapy if necessary but edit harshly so that if its included then it adds value as opposed to being the wrong destination for some venting.

Highs and Lows

The past fortnight has been a rollercoaster of emotions.

There are times when I feel completely neurotic and angsty about 'The Future' and then other times I'm delightfully distracted by the budding magnolia trees outside the window of newish flat, the movement across the swollen belly of the Blonde Best Friend whose first child is due in May and my endlessly entertaining nieces.

The work situation continues and I'm reminded of how badly my company handles such things based on my experience in late 2007 and early 2008 before I went to Australia. I'm not going to go into the details here but suffice to say I consulted an employer lawyer in the City last week.

Deciding to seek advice was a significant turning point for me and one that I'd previously dismissed perceiving it to be an aggressive route. This changed when a wonderful colleague pointed out that it was merely a means of helping me make a more informed decision and allowing myself to regain some modicum of control over my future rather than being swept along on a current of passivity.

It felt very empowering in a time of insecurity and helplessness. I practically bounced out of the law firm having received affirmation that my treatment was indeed grossly - I wasn't just being oversensitive nor was I going bonkers!

The high of Thursday was soon forgotten as the low of Friday arrived with more news from my employers which threw a spanner in the works, or so I thought.

I realise now that this is going to be a bumpy ride and I need to steel myself for the euphoric highs and the self-doubting, angst-ridden lows.

Thanks for all your lovely thoughts - it means alot.

To Lose One's Job

How exactly does a person 'lose' his/her job? Do you leave it behind on the bus or forget to pick it up from the drycleaners?

Having recently been told that I would be 'let go' (another one see, like you let go of a child's hand?!) I have found myself telling friends and family that I've lost my job and seem to be hung up on the silly wording of the language. Obviously I'd rather focus on the English language than the harsh reality of my precarious situation, forgive me but I'll save that news for another gloomy post.

Language is endlessly fascinating to me and as a languages graduate I'm becoming more and more of a geek about the evolution and rules of English grammar and punctuation as I get older. The more I write the more often I stumble on a question that I can't answer or have a gut feeling about but can't explain the grammar rules behind i.e. who vs whom, which vs that, when to use Future Perfect Continuous Passive etc.

Grammar, spelling and punctuation are the tools of the writer's toolkit and yet I'm of a generation that was not taught grammar or punctuation; I had to learn the rules of my own language to help me learn two other languages. I swear to God that I was sat in an A'Level Spanish class and couldn't explain the difference between a noun and an adjective so how on earth was I going to manage learning another language if I didn't get to grips with my own and it's labeling? I had years' worth of swotting to do but I did it and now I'm hooked (see, told you I was a geek about it).

Lane has written a fantastic post on today's Novel Racers' coffee break about grammar and it's heartening to see from the comments that many of us have weak points when it comes to grammar which is why this community is so great because if you get stuck someone else usually knows the answer.

Now if only one of them can find me a job.